How do you get the results you want in your personal and professional life? How do you make a clear request that will get you the results you want while building relationships with your team and family? These and other valuable questions were answered at a recent event organized by Neythri, featuring leadership coach and business consultant, Abha Singhvi. Abha is the founder of two businesses, one of which was sold to TMP Worldwide, and is currently an adjunct professor at Santa Clara University, a board member at Maitri (working with South Asian survivors of Domestic Violence) and a member at Sandhill Angels where she is involved in reviewing investment opportunities.

At this exciting event, Abha shared her extensive insight on how to manage one’s time and energy with ease, build relationships and get the results one wants, through the effective delivery of “Requests and Promises”.

How do you formulate the right ask to get the result you want? How do you lead your virtual teams with clarity and effectiveness? And how do you work with those teams in these uncertain times? The following are some key strategies she shared to make that shift into effective leadership.

1. Create a simple framework to make requests and make them concise. Making an effective request or promise requires thoughtfulness and clear intent. This means that one needs to be thinking of one’s intended result throughout the communication process.

2. Always remember that it’s OK to ask. And it’s also OK to say no. Being aware of yourself and self-confident is an integral factor in effective communication.

3. Women, especially South Asian women, tend to be more relational. This means one may be averse to conflict or be more comfortable making indirect requests. Making a direct request will save time in the long term. How does one do that? When making a request, ask yourself the following questions:

4. Who is making the request and who is the request being made to?

5. Does the person you are making the request to have the capacity, bandwidth, resources, and support to fulfill this request. Can you ask them what support they need?

6. What action do they need to take and will it add significant value?

7. What is the condition of satisfaction?

8. Do you have a specific timeframe for your request? ASAP, sometime, or someday does not add value in the long term.

9. Once a request is completed, how do you follow up? If the request has been fulfilled, thank them. If it has not, have a direct conversation with the person to whom you made the request. Engage in a dialog where you can ask them what happened and what is impacted, as a result, but allow them to feel safe to ask questions as well, and support in the process. It may help to have an in-between checkpoint.

   
   

Responding to a request appropriately is as important as making the request. Abha shared 4 simple components to responding to a request:

1. Ask for clarifications on the components of the request. Before you say yes to a request, think the request through, and assess your capacity, bandwidth, and resources to fulfill the request. Only say yes if you can really do it.

2. Decline the request. This is something that relational people have a hard time with. Think of it as an opportunity that you are giving to someone else to fulfill. Practice saying No. Work on building a relationship with the requestor.

3. Negotiate. Perhaps working with an extension or asking for more resources can make this a win-win situation

4. Commit to commit. Offer to look at the request and get back to them within a certain time. This way, you allow the requestor to trust you and feel able to come to you with requests because they know you are able to say no, if needed.

   
   

Abha concluded her speech with a reminder that action with vision can change the world. Learning and following these simple principles can certainly assist us with that vision!